A Comic Poem About English Spelling and Pronunciation

A Comic Poem About English Spelling and Pronunciation Composed by Dr. Gerard Nolst Trenità © (1870-1946), a Dutch author and teacher, The Chaos illustrates many of the irregularities of English spelling (orthography) and pronunciation. The Chaos by Charivarius (Gerard Nolst Trenità ©) Dearest creature in Creation,Studying English pronunciation,I will teach you in my verseSounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.I will keep you, Susy, busy,Make your head with heat grow dizzy;Tear in eye, your dress youll tear;So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer.Pray, console your loving poet,Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!Just compare heart, beard, and heard,Dies and diet, lord and word.Sword and sward, retain and Britain(Mind the latter, how its written!)Made has not the sound of bade,Say-said, pay-paid, laid, but plaid.Now I surely will not plague youWith such words as vague and ague,But be careful how you speak,Say break, steak, but bleak and streak.Previous, precious, fuchsia, via;Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir,Cloven, oven; how and low;Script, receipt; shoe, poem, toe.Hear me say, devoid of trickery:Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,Typhoid; measles, topsails, aisles;Exiles, similes, reviles;Wholly, holly; signal, signing;Thames; examining, combining;Scholar, vicar, and cig ar,Solar, mica, war, and far. From desire: desirableadmirable from admire;Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier;Chatham, brougham; renown but known,Knowledge; done, but gone and tone,One, anemone; Balmoral;Kitchen, lichen; laundry, laurel;Gertrude, German; wind and mind;Scene, Melpomene, mankind;Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,Reading, Reading, heathen, heather.This phonetic labyrinthGives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.Billet does not end like ballet;Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet;Blood and flood are not like food,Nor is mould like should and would.Banquet is not nearly parquet,Which is said to rhyme with darky.Viscous, viscount; load and broad;Toward, to forward, to reward,And your pronunciations OK.Rounded, wounded; grieve and sieve;Friend and fiend; alive and live.Liberty, library; heave and heaven;Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven,We say hallowed, but allowed;People, leopard; towed, but vowed.Mark the difference, moreover,Between mover, plover, Dover,Leeches, breeches; wise, precise;Chalice but pol ice and lice. Camel, constable, unstable;Principle, disciple; label;Petal, penal, and canal;Wait, surmise, plait, promise; pal.Suit, suite, ruin; circuit, conduitRhyme with shirk it and beyond it.But it is not hard to tellWhy its pall, mall, but Pall Mall.Muscle, muscular; gaol, iron;Timber, climber; bullion, lion,Worm and storm; chaise, chaos, chair;Senator, spectator, mayor.Ivy, privy, famous; clamourAnd enamour rime with hammer.Pussy, hussy, and possess,Desert, but desert, address.Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenantsHoist in lieu of flags left pennants.Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,Cow, but Cowper, some, and home.Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker,Quoth he, than liqueur or liquor,Making, it is sad but true,In bravado, much ado.Stranger does not rhyme with anger,Neither does devour with clangour.Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant.Arsenic, specific, scenic,Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,Paradise, rise, rose, and dose. Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle,Make the latter rhyme with eagle.Mind! Meandering but mean,Valentine and magazine.And I bet you, dear, a penny,You say mani-(fold) like many,Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,Tier (one who ties), but tier.Arch, archangel; pray, does erringRhyme with herring or with stirring?Prison, bison, treasure trove,Treason, hover, cover, cove,Perseverance, severance. RibaldRhymes (but piebald doesnt) with nibbled.Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.Dont be down, my own, but rough it,And distinguish buffet, buffet;Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn.Say in sounds correct and sterlingHearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.Evil, devil, mezzotint,Mind the Z! (A gentle hint.)   Now you need not pay attentionTo such sounds as I dont mention,Sounds like  pores, pause, pours  and  paws,Rhyming with the pronoun  yours;Nor are proper names included,Though I often heard, as you did,Funny rhymes to  unicorn,Yes, you know them,  Vaughan  and  Strachan.No, my maiden, coy and  comely,I dont want to speak of  Cholmondeley.No. Yet  Froude  compared with  proudIs no better than  McLeod.But mind  trivial  and  vial,Tripod, menial, denial,Troll  and  trolley, realm  and  ream,Schedule, mischief, schism, and  scheme.Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. SurelyMay be made to rhyme with  Raleigh,But youre not supposed to sayPiquet  rhymes with  sobriquet.Had this  invalid invalidWorthless documents? How  pallid,How  uncouth he, couchant, looked,When for Portsmouth I had booked!Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite,Paramour,  enamoured, flighty,Episodes, antipodes,Acquiesce, and  obsequies.Please dont monkey with the  geyser,Dont p eel taters with my  razor,Rather say in accents pure:Nature, stature  and  mature.Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly,Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,Wan, sedan  and  artisan. The  TH  will surely trouble youMore than  R, CH  or  W.Say then these phonetic gems:Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham,There are more but I forget em-Wait! Ive got it:  Anthony,Lighten your anxiety.The archaic word  albeitDoes not rhyme with  eight-you see it;With  and  forthwith, one has voice,One has not, you make your choice.Shoes,  goes, does. Now first  say:  finger;Then say:  singer, ginger, linger.Real, zeal, mauve, gauze  and  gauge,Marriage, foliage, mirage, age,Hero, heron, query, very,Parry, tarry fury, bury,Dost, lost, post, and  doth, cloth, loth,Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath.Faugh, oppugnant, keen  oppugners,Bowing, bowing, banjo-tunersHolm  you know, but  noes, canoes,Puisne, truism, use, to  use?Though the difference seems  little,We say  actual, but  victual,Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height,Put, nut, granite, and  unite.Reefer  does not rhyme with  deafer,Feoffer   does, and  zephyr, heifer.Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,Hint, pint, senate, but  sedate.Gaelic, Arabic, pacific,Science, conscience, scientific;Tour, but  our, dour, succour, four,Gas, alas, and  Arkansas. Say  manoeuvre, yacht  and  vomit,Next  omit, which differs  from itBona fide, alibiGyrate, dowry and awry.Sea, idea, guinea, area,Psalm, Maria, but  malaria.Youth, south, southern, cleanse  and  clean,Doctrine, turpentine, marine.Compare  alien  with  Italian,Dandelion  with  battalion,Rally  with  ally; yea, ye,Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!Say  aver, but  ever, fever,Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.Never guessit is not  safe,We say  calves, valves, half, but  Ralf.Starry, granary, canary,Crevice, but  device, and  eyrie,Face, but  preface, then  grimace,Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging,Ought, oust, joust, and  scour, but  scourging;Ear, but  earn; and  ere  and  tearDo not rhyme with  here  but  heir.Mind the  O  of  off  and  oftenWhich may be pronounced as  orphan,With the sound of  saw  and  sauce;Also  soft, lost, cloth  and  cross.Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting?Yes: at golf it rhymes with  shutting.Respite, spite, consent, resent.Liable, but  Parliament.Seven  is right, but so is  even,Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,Monkey, donkey, clerk  and  jerk,Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work.A  of  valour, vapid vapour,S  of  news  (compare  newspaper),G  of  gibbet, gibbon, gist,I  of  antichrist  and  grist,Differ  like  diverse  and  divers,Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers. Once, but  nonce, toll, doll, but  roll,Polish, Polish, poll  and  poll.Pronunciationthink of  Psyche!-Is a paling, stout and  spiky.Wont it make you lose your witsWriting  groats  and saying  grits?Its a dark abyss or tunnelStrewn with stones like  rowlock, gunwale,Islington, and  Isle of Wight,Housewife, verdict  and  indict.Dont you think so, reader,  rather,Saying  lather, bather, father?Finally, which rhymes with  enough,Though, through, bough, cough, hough,sough, tough?Hiccough  has the sound of cup . . .My advice is: give it up! The Chaos by Dr. Gerard Nolst Trenità © first appeared (in a shorter version) in an appendix to his textbook  Drop Your Foreign Accent, published in 1920.

How to Talk About the Parts of the Body in Italian

How to Talk About the Parts of the Body in Italian While chatting about body parts isn’t something that’s often a part of small talk, the necessity of knowing body part of Italian vocabulary pops at the most unexpected times. Besides the typical doctor situation, it comes up in many Italian proverbs, when describing physical characteristics of a person, and in famous children’s songs. Head, Shoulders, Knees Toes Below you’ll find an extensive list of body parts in the singular form along with examples to demonstrate the various ways to use your newfound vocabulary in real life. ankle la caviglia arm il braccio armpit lascella artery larteria body il corpo bone losso brain il cervello calf il polpaccio chest il torace collarbone la clavicola elbow il gomito finger il dito foot il piede hand la mano heart il cuore heel il calcagno hip lanca index finger lindice knee il ginocchio larynx la laringe leg la gamba middle finger il medio muscle il muscolo nail lunghia nerve il nervo pinkie il mignolo rib la costola ring finger lanulare shoulder la spalla skin la pelle spine la spina dorsale stomach lo stomaco thumb il pollice vein la vena wrist il polso When you change some of the body parts from the singular into the plural form, they might seem strange at first because they don’t follow the regular rules of the ending of a feminine, plural word ending in the letter -e or a masculine, plural word ending in the letter -i. Per esempio L’orecchio (ear) becomes le orecchie (ears)Il braccio (arm) becomes le braccia (arms)Il dito (finger) becomes le dita (fingers)Il ginocchio (knee) becomes le ginocchia (knees) Esempi Mi fa male lo stomaco. - My stomach hurts.Ho mal di testa. - I have a headache.Ho la testa altrove. - My head is somewhere else; I’m not focused.Siamo nelle tue mani. - We’re in your hands; We’re trusting you.L’hai visto? Ha gli addominali a tartaruga! - Did you see him? He has six-pack abs!Devo farmi le unghie. - I need to do my nails; I need to get a manicure.Sei cosà ¬ rosso in viso! - You’re so red in the face!; You’re blushing.Ho un ginocchio messo male. - I have a bad knee. Finally, here are a few proverbs with body parts: Alzarsi con il piede sbagliato – To get up with the wrong foot; idiomatic meaning: to get up on the wrong side of the bed Stamattina, mi sono svegliato/a con il piede sbagliato e finora ho avuto una giornataccia! - This morning I got up with the wrong foot and since then I’ve had such a bad day! Non avere peli sulla lingua – To have no hairs on the tongue; idiomatic meaning: to speak frankly Lui sempre dice cose sprezzanti, non ha davvero peli sulla lingua! - He always says rude things, he truly doesn’t have any hair on the tongue! Essere una persona in gamba/essere in gamba – To be a person in leg; idiomatic meaning: to be a really great, upstanding person Lei mi ha sempre aiutato, à ¨ veramente una persona in gamba. – She’s always helped me, she’s really a good person.